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Department of Spontaneous Gardening

Division of Floral Compliance. Est. 2026. Every flower inspected. Nothing prevented.

About the Division

The Division of Floral Compliance exists to monitor, score, and occasionally reclaim any patch of ground exposed to unsupervised gardening. Tap anywhere on the plot and a flower is planted, inspected, and logged, all within the same instant, all by nobody in particular.

The Compliance Score

Each planted flower contributes a small, non-negotiable amount to your Floral Compliance Score. The exact formula is proprietary, mildly random, and independently verified by certified bees, who have never once been asked to show credentials.

Overcultivation & Reclamation

Plots that exceed fifteen flowers are considered overcultivated and are reclaimed without appeal. All existing flora is wilted, removed, and replaced with exactly one demonstrative tulip, retained for audit purposes. The Compliance Score, notably, is unaffected by any of this and continues to rise regardless.

Why This Matters

It doesn't, not officially. But somewhere in triplicate paperwork, your flowers are being counted, and that paperwork is the entire point of the Division. Plant another one. It's for the file.